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Harris punches Arnold Ripner when the lawyer threatens another libel suit; and a mugging victim reveals that she's carried the torch for Barney since 1966.

Barney Miller

Altercation

A former child star assaults his agent with a telephone; a good Samaritan is charged with assault; and Dietrich spends the afternoon with a college sweetheart.

Old Love

An angry parent assaults the admissions director of a private kindergarten; and Wojo faces a police inquiry for using excessive force in a recent arrest.

Inquiry

A man assaults a journalist for writing a premature obituary; The squad celebrates Barney's birthday.

Obituary

A genius turns to petty crime; and a man is mugged by an elderly woman; Luger's surprised when his mail-order bride arrives from the Philippines.

Arrival

A prisoner stages a hunger strike to end nuclear arms; Dietrich aids a psychiatric patient; Barney refuses his latest nomination for promotion to deputy inspector.

Hunger Strike

Harassment charges are pressed against Lieutenant Scanlon; Harris and Dietrich interrogate a key witness to a gang murder.

Chinatown

Lieutenant Scanlon falls for a wealthy mugging victim; a restaurateur breaks into his own restaurant; the squad investigates Chinatown gang wars.

A mugger singles out street clowns; and a bureaucrat alleviates jail overcrowding by quietly releasing a hundred inmates on Madison Avenue in the dead of night.

The Clown

The plainclothes detectives step in while the rest of the force takes an examination.

Examination Day

One of the last two survivors of an old-world tontine tries to commit suicide in order to allow a cousin to inherit.

The Tontine

The FBI steps in when microprocessor chips designed for computer games are being exported to Poland.

Games

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Capt. Barney Miller of the NYPD 12th Precinct and his staff handle the various local troubles and characters that come into the squad room.

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A Peace Corps recruiter goes crazy at a job fair; Dietrich's portable stress analyzer stops working while he's investigating an assault case.

S8 E5 | Stress Analyzer